Prayer for Opportunity

If nothing else? I am alive today. I am fed today. I am loved today. I am sheltered today. Everything else is just another opportunity to show gratitude for being visitors on this crazy planet called Earth. 

Being human is an enigma of puzzling opportunities. You are either taught at a young age that you are infinity and that you are loved and supported or conversely? You are made to feel like scum and you carry that with you. Even those who were taught to be infinite will feel like scum and those who were treated horribly can have a beautiful sense of infinity about them.

I have an opportunity this week that I know is perfect for me. I meditated this morning in a bath of sacred water and I discovered what real opportunity is.

Let’s go over the options, shall we?

Option A : A life that is flexible, supported by health and the ability to forge a path for the little guys. You are nervous and hesitant because every time you work for the little guy you don’t support yourself. But this is FINALLY the opportunity I have been waiting for. Enough to make it, and then enough time to work on the life and the passion. Enough time and enough money, but not a lot. 

Option B : A life that is solid. Stable. Defined hours but lots of money. Would give you all the financial support you need to make a long term goal a reality. The massive amounts of work you put into this job you would probably hate, but accepting this destiny as a part of your long term plan versus focusing on the present. 

Option C : A life that is engaging but unknown. The work is interesting, varied and something that hasn’t been attempted. Something that is completely new territory but unbelievable amounts of instability. A new path never forged by yourself, you would be gaining new skills with something you are maybe interested in, but don’t know what to do quite yet with. 

I know what my answer is. I know what works best for me. But it may not be what works for the truth in every destiny. Opportunity is not just money. Money is a medium. Opportunity is the chance to forge a life that you want which is aligned with your destiny. Opportunity brings more opportunity. Life brings more life. Prosperity brings more prosperity.

Yogi Bhajan, in his infinite wisdom once said “To be blessed is to live in gratitude, so that God can fulfill you forever”. Today, in the face of all these massive choices and wonderful opportunity, I would like to make my prayer in thanks. Thanks for letting me live on this earth one more day, healthy, with the chance to explore more of this beautiful planet. Thanks for giving me the chance to forge a path. Help me accept the path that I am on and give me the prosperity and the wisdom to see the opportunity in every day. Thank you for the love I have felt from those enlightened beings on my path. Thank you for this prayer. 

Sat Nam

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In gratitude for the immersion of the Self. 

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The Joy In Finding Tribe

I spent a year of my life in hiding. Parts of me are starting to come out again, and parts are still hidden. But the one thing I can count on whether in solitude or vulnerability is the joy in finding a tribe. 

I went to a tattoo convention today. Extraordinary works of body art, modifications and piercings. I don’t have any modifications myself, but from people I spoke to today and those I have known in the past? The modification of your body through these ritual piercings and tattoos are not a choice : those who choose the lifestyle feel more connected to community with the piercings than without.

Then there were the present company : a friend I have known since I was five years old, her boyfriend and her two friends from high school. One of the things the women in the group had in common was a kind of transitional phase. We are all moving into parts of our lives where we are solidifying what we want and choosing what we don’t really like anymore.

Just like a permanent fixture of ink, the image changes over time of how you want to live your life. You have an idea of what it will be and then if you let it happen it becomes nothing and better than you imagined. You find the peaceful part of yourself that has joy in others and feels joy returned to them as a gift.

I hope that my tribe keeps growing, as yours does too. I hope you find the place where you feel like the better version of yourself and the people who help you get there. I hope you stop hanging out with people who stifle your love. I hope you live in harmony with your tribe and grow strong in those relationships.

 

Knots

Patchy foggy pieces of information in bulk are far worse than small amounts of clarity. When you look at a big tangle of knots, you see parts of the rope that once were straight. You can see their entry and exit into the frayed tangle of mess – have some idea of where they are going and what parts of the whole they represent. You see the pattern of their relationship with the entire messy tangle, maybe you might even be able to see which parts they are connected to.

I’ve come to a point in my climb up career mountain that gets pieces of information at a time. One job offer fails, the other one calls. I have a great interview and then a terrible one. I can tell the instant I’m doing well and when I’m faking it for the sake of a paycheck. Each one of these experiences are tiny knots to untie.

For example. I’m sitting in a warehouse in San Carlos with two commercial directors. I’m enjoying myself. I’m talking about past experiences and future offers of help. They are engaged, and open to potentially take what I am offering on the table. This, like a few other production leads, will go nowhere. Both parties have not received enough information, because they are each untangling knots of their own.

I don’t know it yet, but I need a big wheel job to pay for my base expenses before I can even THINK of taking on this project. They don’t know it yet, but they can’t really present me a valuable offer without looking at their budget first and knowing exactly what kind of person they need. We both are learning things, and we part knowing that we aren’t right for each other. Sadly, this is the best version of a date I’ve had in months.

And so it goes. This applies to personal knots as well. I only know enough about the next relationship, the next adventure, and the next part of my life I want to experience based on what I untangle.

Then there are those huge, messy, lifelong knots – the ones the mind keeps going over. My emotional attachment to unavailable men, the low feelings of self-worth and coming from a place of lack, performance anxiety, financial instability, emotional eating, and the conscious choice of what I’m thinking is true about myself versus what actually is – conformity to norm versus my truth.

When your mind is constantly focusing on the unmanagable task – taking the smallest part of a messy rope and saying “This is what I’m learning right now. When I learn what part of the whole this is connected to, then I can solve the bigger problem.”

May your knots in the coming weeks be broken down into small tasks. May the information be clear. May you have the courage to follow your true intuition, and trust that the knot was once strong rope. May you have the patience to let time manage the unmanagable knots. May you be fearless in your pursuit of your soul’s mystery. May you unravel your destiny one piece of rope at a time.

Sat Nam

knots

O time! thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me to untie!
– Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, Viola 2.2.40

Conscious Communication : The Importance of the Kind Vibe

How many of us wish we could edit parts of our lives, publish the good and get support for the bad? There’s Facebook, which can always make you seem like you are having more fun than you actually are and engaging with more people than you could ever authentically do in one lifetime. I watched this video last week, and after deliberation on this form of media? What we are really craving is conscious communication with the self and the soul of others. What we are getting is the bare bones minimum of that experience, and for that we feel alone.

Yogi Bhajan talks about conscious communication in many of his lectures on purpose and projection. What truly is striking is the fact that communication starts with the soul and projection of a person, something that Facebook will never be able to communicate. I liken this feeling to when the Dalai Lama or Beyonce enter a room. The entire room goes silent or rapt with applause. They are communicating their true presence and for that, they command your attention. We may be able to fake a good time had by all last Friday night on social media, but we can’t fake our authentic self.

There have been a lot of posts related to grief lately. They make me want to reach out and hug the person inside who is either going through cancer, dying or seeing a loved one do the same. I recognize that sending out the information is important, and calling to the attention of one’s community via social media would bring a comfort in this time.

But what are the options? Someone posts “My mother is dying of cancer” and you just press…Like?

I wish there was a button for kind vibes. When you focus your attention on the person who is suffering and send out good loving thoughts their way. When you and your spiritual community gather and in their own way create a healing vibration. When the atheists don’t pray or gather but call a person who is suffering because it is the kind thing to do. When no matter what your background or faith you can send good vibes to someone, and it is important. Because instead of disconnecting with technology, you are connecting your authentic self to another person who needs direct attention of love.

My brother Michael has been a stunning example of how to display direct attention on someone who needs it. In a crazy few months where death has been near him and his loved ones, the trend has struck again. His girlfriend lost her mother to an aggressive form of cancer that took over 2/3 of a lung. Both he and Becky have been together for 6 years and I believe this is the toughest thing they have ever had to face. But they face it present with each other and with direct attention that makes me proud to have them as family.

So what does this mean for presence? Is it hard to sit with someone when they are going through rough times? Yes. But essence over vanity is always a good way to choose. Give people your conscious communication, your direct attention, and kind vibes. You never know when you are going to need those yourself.

May your week be filled with ways to heal consciously. May you follow your pain with direct attention. May you help someone who is in need of kind vibes, and give compassion to those in grief. May you live as though everyone you meet is deserving of your direct attention. May you fill your heart with grace and compassion.

Sat Nam

 

Conscious Uncoupling : What Gwen Got Right and What She Missed

Everyone has built their image on an ideal version of themselves. Gwenyth has made a career of being the public face of perfection, classist trendsetting in the guise of self-help and a spiritual guru personality that feeds the other half of her Hollywood persona. We love to hate the projected image of perfection, but every time we throw stones we are cutting down our own authentic self. By hating Gwenyth, and for that matter, ANYONE who we think is better than us we are subconsciously saying that we think of ourselves as less than ideal.

Which is why when I read her article conscious uncoupling, as part of the Goopy website we love to hate, her two staff writers Dr. Habeeb Sandeghi and Dr. Sherry Sami got some points in that work with the current discussion on marriage.

“Our biology and psychology aren’t set up to be with one person for four, five, or six decades. This is not to suggest that there aren’t couples who happily make these milestones—we all hope that we’re one of them.”

An excellent and true point. But like Gwenyth’s persona, the article only hits on the shallow end of the truth. We aren’t biologically meant to be monogomous, maybe. But where do we find the most growth and personal satisfaction? Through the commitments we make. Someone who we learn to live with is the greatest teacher when we are facing the ugly parts of ourselves. Should we stay with that person forever?

Science is evolving. Human beings are living longer lives. Back in the days of hunter gatherers? Partnership was about having someone warm to sleep next to when the cave got cold. Having someone to hunt and help you find what limited resources of food and shelter you had. Now we have therapists to help us discover “what our needs are” when it was formerly? Elk. Maybe we aren’t made to be with someone for a long time, but aren’t we focusing entirely on the emotional side of survival when it comes to marriage?

Hillary Clinton. Another power woman who stayed in a marriage long after it may have been emotionally over. But in spite of 1998, she stayed. Now I’m not saying this is what works for everyone and infidelity is definitely something that needs to be considered when deciding if the long term will work. But what I love about her is that she knows that the Clinton Empire – her work in justice and politics, philanthropy, dreams of being the president? Meant more than one tiny blowjob in the office. Her needs of survival was based on her aspirations, and so she was willing to be vulnerable for the longevity of the empire. I respect that. I hope if I ever have built something with an emotional partner I have the good sense to keep the sex out of it, even if it was with someone I was married to.

Another thing Gwenyth might have missed out on, unfortunately, being a public figure with an image to keep? Opening her relationship. Because her relationship was on such a pedestal of perfection, and if the press found out they would publicly shame her? I’m sure she never considered the idea lest being found out. She speaks openly about the shame of separation saying:

“What we don’t realize is that while a full body shield may offer a level of self-protection, it’s also a form of self-imprisonment that locks us inside a life that repeats the same mistakes over and over again.”

Welcome to celebrity, the land of self-imprisonment and expected perfection. But what this passage lacks is the idea that when we commit to someone, we aren’t trapped in who that person is but freed by the merging that constantly exists with a changing personality. What she fails to say is what makes couples feel trapped is the lack of ability to change, grow, and fail together. Maybe none of that was an option. Maybe the self-imprisonment in relationships is the idea that it has to stay exactly the same, be good all the time, or never grow in its boundaries.

Now here is where there is a lot of contradiction, even though the message is clear :

“The idea of being married to one person for life is too much pressure for anyone.”

What she doesn’t say, is that there are spiritual marriages that go beyond what is the expected norm of partnership. I have marriage contracts with friends, that they will be there when I get old because I want to have someone to talk to. I have marriage contacts with people creatively, when I make films or sing or write I get an intimate knowledge of that person and I appreciate them for the exposed self they let me get to witness. I appreciate them for the exposure they let me experience, as I make myself vulnerable. I have a marriage contract with my parents, and as they age I am going to take care of their needs as they have taken care of mine.

What Gwenyth is missing in all this? Because she has kids with her former husband, she is going to be partnered with him for the rest of her life. They are going to have to make decisions together, debate ethical questions of parenthood together, and decide how to make them feel loved when all is changing. She will be partnered with Chris Martin for the rest of her life because they made a celebrity empire, but their personal empire is the two lives whose DNA is shared between them.

We have marriage contracts all around us with people, we just aren’t judged by the way they are conducted so rigidly when they don’t define traditional marriage.

My hero, Dan Savage, has been with his homosexual partner, Terry Miller for over 20 years. He has a son who is sixteen. He has a public image and a private one. But he has 4 things going for him that Gwenyth does not:

A) Resistance – When you have the whole Christian Right shouting at your back that your marriage is doomed to send you to hell? It probably doesn’t matter who forgot to do the dishes. The resistance from the outside makes the love on the inside stronger. They are human rights activists, and like Hillary, have realized that the “It Gets Better” empire they have built? More important than all the Savage Love empire, or helping someone find a better buttplug. They have made their marriage about helping people in their community, and changed the definition of marriage by doing so. 

B) Open to Interpretation – They have what they call a “manogom-ish” situation. They are manogomous but they sleep with other people because they know themselves. I’m willing to bet that they sleep with less other people now then they did when they first met and were on the scene more. Just like all of us, the lust fades and you want someone to make you laugh. As they age, their sexual and human identity becomes open to their own interpretation. 

C) It was never about Biology – If marriage is truly for a man and a woman to copulate and have kids? They would have separated years ago. They have a deep respect for each other that defines things only on the terms that they want to work with. 

D) Instagram – Terry is a model for Mr. Turk. Doesn’t hurt when you have this to wake up to every morning. Everyone will eventually get ugly, sag, and not look like it did twenty years ago. But I’ll bet you Terry will still be in his underwear no matter what he looks like, because they find ways to keep things fun. 

So yeah, the idea of being everything to everyone is kind of…what Gwenyth Paltrow has built her career on. I’m very sorry that she is going through this separation because even if you are Gwenyth Paltrow you have feelings.

Just like any other person in this, I’m a spectator. No one knows but Gwen and Chris how this could have ended. And just like everyone else, I wanted to discover that they both were secret leather fetishists who had huge orgies on Restoration Hardware furniture.

I hope that this week, you discover the place within yourself that loves your relationships in their imperfections. I encourage you to open yourself to every relationship you have – with family, friends, loved ones, and forget what is missing in your romantic relationship. I hope that if you break up, get divorced, get back together? You feel loved because of the love you give yourself. I hope you choose to love in spite of what comes crashing down around you, even if that includes your relationship. I hope you live in authentic relationships with yourself and make peace with the world around you. I hope you are happy.

Never Give Away Your Power

I met someone today I really admire, because she has a talent that I have never possessed in my life. She tells everyone exactly how she feels when she has those feelings, and she tells people what she needs. If you pronounce her name wrong? She corrects you. If she wants you to hold her hand, she says “Hold My Hand”. How many people do you know, including yourself, who never ask for what they need and give away all their emotional energy to maintaining the feelings and patterns of others?

This week, I’ve felt like I’ve been giving my power away – the stories I read on Facebook or the Internet, emotional boundaries that I constantly let people cross, Deadlines I’ve been meaning to meet but have given them to the time needed to devote to others. Patterns are popping up that I realize have been imprinted over YEARS.

Your emotional energy is like a free goodie bag from the drugstore. Most of it is crap, and everyone gets the same bag – fear, jealousy, anger, love, compassion, happiness. Usually the stuff you get in this bag has been handed to you based on previous emotional purchases you have made. Sometimes, you can make a really cool discovery – but beware of which drugs you wish to take and which drugs will make you break out in hives. They come in the same kind of package, and they make the same promises.

I’ve made a discovery this week that I have given a lot of my emotional power to those who are emotionally unavailable. It hurts to find this out, especially since all of these people from my past have understood me where most find me obtuse. In an effort to continue to treat myself like royalty, I have to turn my heart into the hope diamond. Keep it safe, let people admire it for what it is, but only let those who are truly qualified to handle it put their hands on it. 

Alright, now you might be thinking – well that’s HARSH. But what would be the worst part about shutting out those people who, whether they know it or not, are hurting you? I’m not saying cut off all contact or turn off every emotion you have towards someone. But limiting your exposure to the part of that person that hurts you? Might be the best thing for both of you. 

If someone toxic is calling? Don’t answer. If you know you don’t want to read something about someone you have been thinking about? Stay off Facebook. For fuck’s sake, don’t let anyone get away with making you feel like you have to do or be something you are not. If they threaten to leave you, let them.

Never give away your power. Ever. I’m not saying don’t love people, or feel things, or let people into your heart. But your heart is the Hope Diamond, more magnificent than any other gem on the planet. Let those who would admire you, admire you, and those who would try to break the glass never get in. Only let the gentle hands of the open-hearted and emotionally qualified scrub the surface of your already glorious soul.

May you stay away from all bullshit this week. That is all.

Sat Nam

 

Duality

Ah, the calamity of love strikes again, as I’m once again crying in my bathtub. We come to this earth and love is all around us. Then by around age 5 we go into “somebody training”, where we are taught that we are supposed to play a certain way and follow a set of rules. Then love comes in and breaks them all.

 And suddenly it’s as if we are naked for the whole world to see and we can’t understand our world anymore. We meet people and have experiences and make discoveries I call “Before/After’s”. Meaning, before you I felt this way and after you I don’t look at the world the same. 

I much prefer to have my “Before/After’s” to be experiences. A sunset, my favorite band, a piece of art – those are all things that we know aren’t supposed to last. But you look into someone’s eyes who has seen you in the worst parts of yourself and kissed those ugly places…those souls you meet who don’t let you get away with being fake or shallow. Those people who you feel like the best version of yourself around. Those kind eyes. That heart. 

I’m very conflicted in writing my feelings right now as I type this. Divinity wants me to say what is on my mind all the time, duality tells me to be soft and move like waves through the world.  But Divinity also has come to me in a vision and told me dear you are royalty. A queen who can share light to everyone she touches if she makes her love universal.

And here we are in the grey area we call humanity. Love and calamity. Queens and Chameleons. The gross and the beautiful. We are all of these things as human beings. More than ever I am praying for the strength to let all of these fake identities go. I am not one thing, I am the total of all things, God being the divine light holding it all together.

I am praying to love myself enough that I can forgive myself for being stuck in this grey area called life. I pray to forgive myself for being human, angry and base, lustful and forceful, crazy and caught in a web of fear when I let it get to me. 

I pray for those who have loved me in their own way in this lifetime. I am learning to let go of you in my own way, and I feel so ashamed by not being able to share things that I feel are hurting. I want to stop chasing what isn’t for me in this lifetime – let go of those attached feelings that mess with my head and can’t let me appreciate the selfless love inside.

I pray for those who have been in pain from a long time ago. You and all of us are filled with duality. We are no different from each other in the fact that we all are capable of doing great and horrible things. But the person inside those things is perfect. Nothing needs to change about that person but their consciousness, and nothing needs to happen but healing. Every day. Love remains when we can see the spirit of man and not the letter of his karma. Grace is learning to see that in everyone you meet, especially those you love with all your heart. 

May all of those dualities dissapear, and may the ones you live with be managed with an open heart and a trained mind. May healing happen in conflicted souls. May we all heal ourselves with love and peace in the heart. May we practice this all the days of our lucky days on this planet. 

Sat Nam

Why My Career Needs a Big Wheel

It was hard to say no to $20.00 an hour, 40 hours a week serving as production manager for another feature. The job would have been three months out of Freemont, introduced me to many different hard working people in the Bay Area, and given me some real challenges in a field I have really loved working for. But I need some big wheels until my little ones can run on their own. 

Now what do I mean by this? Imagine your life as a series of gears, all moving together. Big wheels are what give you the most support and stability. Career, Health, Family, Spiritual Life, Community, Partner/Romance. Things move slower with the big wheels because things are less likely to change on those rotors. Not everyone’s big wheel is the same. Someone’s spiritual life might be going to church, it might be finding art in a museum. One person’s definition of family differs from the next, but they are stable and give a sense of connectivity. Romance might be a partner or it might be learning how to fall in love with yourself.

But what’s the key in the big wheel? Stability. Even Bear Grylls takes a knife with him when he goes into the woods, and he isn’t completely on his own  – let’s not forget there is a cameraman there. The poor bastard.

ImageThen you have your little wheels. Those are the things that fill in the gaps – passions, hobbies, adventures, love, entertainment. Those are things that don’t have to be huge, they just need to be what makes you blissfully happy. For me, that is my yoga, my friends, film making, writing, travel and challenging my whole self  to discover. That is laughing and sweating every day with purpose.

At certain times, things won’t always be moving forward. Big wheels will fall off. Little wheels will stop making us feel something. It truly is a lucky thing to have your big wheels and your little wheels be the same thing – to be so at one with yourself that you draw forth the opportunity to let all things be supported by themselves. 

I know to support a passion project you must support yourself – and I know that if I was to take that job that I would spend 3 months completely dedicated to it becoming a reality and none for making a stable place for myself in this world. I feel the same way about passion projects right now as I do about boyfriends – I would love to have one but I need to make sure that I’m stable enough to get into it.

So how do I handle the time in between boyfriends? When I need a big wheel so I can’ t do much of my little wheel? I’m going to see my family and friends, the big wheel I can always count on. I’m going to a film panel this weekend talking about DIY filmmaking and try to meet people. I’m going to continue to search for a big wheel that supports my little wheel. I’m going to continue to follow my big dreams and be big enough to let some little ones go for now.

May all your big wheels be stable. May all your little wheels bring you joy. May both work together. If you can’t travel to India, may you find the best Indian Cuisine and di May both be the same, someday. May you live in pursuit of balance because of glorious self-love. May you be happy.

Sat Nam

Be the Light : The Lesson of My History Crush

I have a girl crush on someone who has been dead for over 60 years. I’ve got it pretty bad. I want to buy her anything she would ever want, if she were to time travel to the future and discover H&M. I want to ask her everything, who was her first crush, what is her favorite ice cream flavor, what kind of person did she imagine herself to be when she grew up? I want to meet her family and walk with her in her neighborhood. I want BFF status, of course, but will settle for for MySpace top 8 circa 2003, when that mattered.

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Her name was Hanna Szenes. Born on July 17, 1921. Hannah enrolled in the British Army in 1943 and trained as an Airwoman 2nd Class in the Women’s Auxillary Army. One of 37 Jewish soldiers from Palestine who parachuted into Yugoslavia. The mission: rescue the Hungarian Jews who were about to be deported to death camps. On March 19, 1944 she and two other soldiers would land via parachute in war-torn Yugoslavia only to learn that the occupation of German soldiers had already taken place. They continued on to the Hungarian border only to be captured by the police, who found her British Transmitter and arrested her for treason.
When Hanna Szenes was in prison, she used mirrors to communicate messages of hope to other prisoners. She would sing during the long days and drew stars of David in the dust. She was tortured, put on trial and killed by a firing squad seven months after her capture. Seven months in which she told all those around her a simple message: hope is a light universal seen long after it is gone.

 

“There are stars whose radiance is visible on earth

though they have long been extinct.

There are people whose brilliance continues to light the world

though they are no longer among the living.

These lights are particularly bright when the night is dark.

They light the way for mankind. “ -Hannah Szenes

In Kundalini Yoga, you are given a spiritual name, by the universal teacher and divine Guru. The name given to me is the name I blog under, Nam Joti. It means One Who Shines with the Light of the Holy Name. Light of God, Lioness of God. If there is anything I can share with you today, its the idea that your inner light prevents you from being put into any prison. There is no external force that can put you in a cage that you haven’t submitted to. Hannah wrote the most beautiful poetry in a cage, she made the most wonderful example of how to be light when you are surrounded by darkness. 

Today, on the Spring Equinox, we are released from the prison of Winter. May you celebrate the light in your life today, whatever brings you joy and does not seek to harm. May you be the lighthouse in the darkest of prisons. May your love shine with the radiance of kindness and may you be prosperous because of it. May your light be so big it heals nations. May your light be a universal, loving light. 

Sat Nam

The NASA Article – 20 Things to Do When the World Ends

I used to act in theatre shows. Usually, by the time the show ended was when I figured out how to play the part. Which is why, when I read this today I started to think about the various ways I figure things out right before they are over.

Yogi Bhajan, the great teacher of Kundalini Yoga, taught us that Akal means deathless. You go to a place where death cannot touch you, and death becomes a part of you. Recently, I’ve been trying to go to this deathless place because when I don’t meditate I go to this place of paranoia. The world is in this state of paranoia because of climate change, and as a result we are feeling the pressure.

But what if that deathless place was actually a power position? One of my friends who knew Yogi Bhajan claims that in the months before his death he had an incredible magnetism, more than his usual amount. His radiance shown on the path of his physical decline as he transitioned to the other world.

What if the declining state of our planet could actually move some of us to realization of how we want to live peacefully? Things we want to do when we feel that planetary pressure?

In order to ease my paranoia, I want to make a list of 20 things I want to do when the world ends.

1. Everything I am doing right now. I hope I am so present with my path that every action I am taking are things aligned with my inner destiny.
2. Hold hands with Michael Fassbender on the beach as we watch the sun grow warm.
3. Laugh with someone so hard that my sides start to burst, and I forget for a moment that everything is over.
4. Find something beautiful and appreciate it.
5. Find family. The ones that want to share in the fortunate present and not panic about the immediate future.
6. I may stray from veganism for a moment so I can enjoy my Dad’s steak recipe for the last time. Buffalo Wings and Goat Cheese, you aren’t safe either if you are still around.
7. Go to work if it’s somewhere I love being. Find work helping someone else if that isn’t the case.
8. Dance. Feverishly.
9. Go somewhere I’ve never been before. If people have rioted their way into the White House? I’m going to wear Michelle Obama’s inauguration dress to my quickie wedding with Michael Fassbender.
10. Go somewhere I have been before, but find a new way to experience that place. Turn the parking lot of Wal Mart into a canvas. Turn an abandoned auto shop into a place for crossfit trainers to throw car parts around in a Strongest Person in the Apocolypse competition.
11. Be naked. A lot.
12. Sing. All my favorite songs and all my favorite sounds. Rosemary Clooney, Amos Lee, Nina Simone, Rilo Kiley.
13. Kiss a stranger on the mouth and tell them they are perfect. Then walk away.
14. Kiss a robot on the mouth and tell them they are perfect. Then walk away. Unless the robots have taken over, then feverishly seduce robot in order to secure food.
15. If there are still movies around, re-watch Drop Dead Gorgeous, like, a million times.
16. Forgive myself for not living up to my full potential. Then do something to correct that.
17. Chant and do yoga in the morning hours and then go outside and feel the soil in my hands.
18. Read a story to someone. If I can’t find a book, then make one up.
19. Tell everyone I’ve ever cared about that the love they have given me means more than the end of the earth.
20. Never spend another minute on Facebook.

May you bring peace and healing to your planet.