Conscious Communication : The Importance of the Kind Vibe

How many of us wish we could edit parts of our lives, publish the good and get support for the bad? There’s Facebook, which can always make you seem like you are having more fun than you actually are and engaging with more people than you could ever authentically do in one lifetime. I watched this video last week, and after deliberation on this form of media? What we are really craving is conscious communication with the self and the soul of others. What we are getting is the bare bones minimum of that experience, and for that we feel alone.

Yogi Bhajan talks about conscious communication in many of his lectures on purpose and projection. What truly is striking is the fact that communication starts with the soul and projection of a person, something that Facebook will never be able to communicate. I liken this feeling to when the Dalai Lama or Beyonce enter a room. The entire room goes silent or rapt with applause. They are communicating their true presence and for that, they command your attention. We may be able to fake a good time had by all last Friday night on social media, but we can’t fake our authentic self.

There have been a lot of posts related to grief lately. They make me want to reach out and hug the person inside who is either going through cancer, dying or seeing a loved one do the same. I recognize that sending out the information is important, and calling to the attention of one’s community via social media would bring a comfort in this time.

But what are the options? Someone posts “My mother is dying of cancer” and you just press…Like?

I wish there was a button for kind vibes. When you focus your attention on the person who is suffering and send out good loving thoughts their way. When you and your spiritual community gather and in their own way create a healing vibration. When the atheists don’t pray or gather but call a person who is suffering because it is the kind thing to do. When no matter what your background or faith you can send good vibes to someone, and it is important. Because instead of disconnecting with technology, you are connecting your authentic self to another person who needs direct attention of love.

My brother Michael has been a stunning example of how to display direct attention on someone who needs it. In a crazy few months where death has been near him and his loved ones, the trend has struck again. His girlfriend lost her mother to an aggressive form of cancer that took over 2/3 of a lung. Both he and Becky have been together for 6 years and I believe this is the toughest thing they have ever had to face. But they face it present with each other and with direct attention that makes me proud to have them as family.

So what does this mean for presence? Is it hard to sit with someone when they are going through rough times? Yes. But essence over vanity is always a good way to choose. Give people your conscious communication, your direct attention, and kind vibes. You never know when you are going to need those yourself.

May your week be filled with ways to heal consciously. May you follow your pain with direct attention. May you help someone who is in need of kind vibes, and give compassion to those in grief. May you live as though everyone you meet is deserving of your direct attention. May you fill your heart with grace and compassion.

Sat Nam

 

Akal – Deathless

Today my Grandmother died.

The dying process that is quick for some became long for her. A year of being on more morphine, pills and insulin than most hospitals would administer. All pieces of this puzzle were made known to my mother, who took the role of caretaker and support for over ten years. The karma of care is something passed on so strongly from mother to daughter. Felt from infancy, giving back that unconditional support we recieved as an infant? It’s no match for what we want to do when we are adults and feel like we can do so much. But in the end, what little we can do hits us all at once and we’re lost.

I held my mother in my arms this morning and said “I am so proud of you”. Because no one could have done what she did, maintained consistency as my grandmother deteriorated, hallucinated and grew weak. No one could have been her at that moment and not broken down.

My grandmother raised two girls as a single parent. In a conservative town where divorce was considered loosely hanging skin on society, she took on the responsibility as she could. Worked at the same bank for 30 years, trained male employees to become her superiors. She was the valedictorian of a high school class of one in Oregon, a farm town where there were more sheep than people.  Getting lost on our way to the movies, reading, riding bikes down her street, and Jello with fruit. All memories I take with me.

When my mom became aware of grandma’s situation, I asked her how she could keep watch over a woman who was falling apart. Her answer was simple:

When someone refuses to give up on you, you don’t give up on them.

My mother explained that when her Dad left, Grandma didn’t stop being a Mother. She didn’t shirk responsibility when she had no support. She didn’t give up. She may have stumbled on that path, but she didn’t forget who her girls were. This past week, my mother held my grandma’s hand as she chose to stop eating, stop taking medications, and release herself from pain. To release from this earthly shell we all have to leave eventually. To become the matter of the next life, whatever that may be. It was a holding cell of the next world and we all could recieve her wishes as she passed. Painful, powerful, complete.

There is a chant that the Kundalini Yoga community recites when someone leaves this planet : Akal. It means undying, deathless. The death place where, when you are asked to go there, you can go with grace and dignity. For the past week, when my Grandmother decided that death was her choice, that it was her time to go, she left on her own terms. It’s the place where change feels like burning and everything crumbles around you but you stay still. You stay deathless, for death is your peace.

Death isn’t about giving up, it’s about letting go. It’s about being there for someone in their last hour and allowing them to let go. It’s not giving up as the letting go is painful. I will take the lessons of my mother and grandmother of that deathless place. May that deathless place give you strength when all karma is burning into dharma. May you remember those who held your hand into the deathless place. May you become deathless as death surrounds you. May you all be light when your time comes to illuminate the deathless path. Sat Nam.

Grandma

Eileen Arabella McKay. Akal.