I Believe in a Working God

God only works when you do. Recently, my God has been an awkward teenager working at Burger King, who knows he’d rather be outside in the sunshine but really wants that XBox. With an extra hundred in Christmas money plus a little bit of allowance from his family, he’s starting the process of saving for his future. But then he sees a beautiful cheerleader and wants to buy her tickets to a concert, or a pony or anything she wants. 

I’m here to tell you the XBox or the girlfriend are both good choices. But the working God tells you that no matter what you choose you still have to work for it – and if what you are working for is aligned with your destiny? He’ll make it harder and easier at the same time.

I’m going to list the jobs I’ve had since graduating college in 2007: stage manager, actress, temp office worker, door to door fundraiser, waitress, event staff, discount bookstore seller, hostess, usher and box office manager, yoga studio front desk employee, hostel concierge, point of sale supervisor, retail associate, barista, catering staff and film production cooordinator.

It took me until film production coordinator to find something that I really loved and even now I realize the climb in that direction is just beginning. I’m also looking for a house that will support me – a tiny home on wheels that will allow me to travel as I need to for work. In the X Box corner we have career : the thing I need to make money and the thing I want to enjoy doing. In girlfriend corner we have art: telling stories, enjoying the moment, having adventures and seeking my spiritual fulfillment daily.

In the very first pauree of Japji, there is the evocation of the working God, or Karta Purkh. This invites God to do the work for you, all you have to do is keep up. All you have to do is keep working towards one direction and let love have no opposition in your life. Let your mind be clear and your heart be full. Empty yourself of all needs to be right, have outcomes or seek. Let love in, and more love will come.

I wish you a beautiful evocation of the working God inside you. Sat Nam. 

Ride the Focused Float

Water is my calming element. Every time I am in it, around it, or watching it my mind instantly tunes into my organic self. I feel free, floating and alive. When I was a kid, my dad signed me up for swim team. Bad idea. I never wanted to get across the lane, I was having such a fantastic time feeling supported by this magical atmosphere. My lap time was probably close to an hour, and getting me out of the pool is exhausting. 

Today, I have things to do and a big project I am undertaking to build my own version of home. I still need to find a job, and I have to support myself. I feel the gravity of my situation as the shadow side of my freedom. Imagine that same swimming pool but filled with molasses. Or, just when you feel the most connected in the water, another kid holds your head down. Or even worse, tries to pull you out because everyone else is heading home. 

Why doesn’t the world let us stay where everything feels good? Why are we constantly encouraged to leave our freedom behind because everyone else tells you it’s time to grow up? Why is the struggle towards floating a constant FIGHT???

I dream of being a woman in balance: floating in the atmosphere of her element but so focused that even if all the water were to drain out of the pool she would still feel light – airy in her own atmosphere. Untouchable. Free. 

The mind is your focused float. Start there. Your body is your conscious balance in that float. Keep going towards that delight. Your soul will emerge from those two feeling good. Be good to them. Be good to yourself.

May you float free and focused. May you find your element. May you feel joy, always. 

Sat Nam

The Girl Asleep at a Party

When I was in college, I used to get blackout drunk. At UC Santa Barbara, that is called “Wednesday” , Certain as there was a Saturday and I didn’t have rehearsal? I’d be drinking 5-6 hard liquor or beer drinks a night and wandering into a stranger’s house to use their bathroom. 

There would always be that one girl, asleep at a party. She’s surrounded by activity, people are stacking cups on her head, and the world could light on fire – she would not wake up.

A few months ago I had a very rude awakening. The world, the planet, our lives are all short and maybe we are able to come close to our reason being here. But in the meantime happiness is the only thing worth pursuing even if it means risking the way you used to be.

I’m anxious. All the time. I don’t know minute by minute what I’m supposed to do and I’m letting others dictate that for me. I’m trying to surrender to the path, let the ride be the guide and really choose what challenges me and makes me happy to wake up every day.

Put the pursuing of that makes me want to be the girl asleep at a party. I know I won’t be able to go back to it, but I want to be her, just for an evening. 

I’ve taken a little bit of Kava-Kava, this herbal anxiety medicine that I found at the organic drugstore. It makes my lips tingle. It makes me want to eat a cookie. It makes me want a hug. It makes me want to pass out in the middle of the party.

This is the challenge of a conscious life : once you wake up, you can never go back to sleep. You must be conscious at all times even when it feels painful or scary. You must be the truth about your life if you want to get anywhere close to your joy.

I hope that I’m listening to what I truly believe is in my heart. I hope to stay awake and energized throughout the entire process of transformation. I hope I don’t get swallowed up by what I expect of myself. I hope that I don’t die before realizing infinity every day. I hope I can live in joy and happiness even when it hurts. I hope to never fall asleep again. 

May you never fall asleep again. 

Sat Nam

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Becoming Captain America

Times of grit and times of grace are needed, now more than ever. Homeless families trying to keep minimum-wage jobs, global warming crisis that is causing levels of panic, veterans coming home from war and causing harm to themselves and others. We are no longer peacemakers if we want to make an impact, we have to be the cause-and-effect participants in helping the person next to us. 

And it starts with the nuanced hero at home.

Look at your life, everything about it. Which parts make you feel scared? How often do you find yourself alone with your thoughts and they make you feel lost? Which parts of yourself are you really convinced may someday be the end of your own happiness. 

Comic book movies have been hitting the theaters and making big bucks lately : The Amazing Spider Man 2, Captain America, Winter Soldier…

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What do these movies have in common? Good guy. Bad guy. Good guy wins. Bad guy loses. It’s what we are all hoping for ourselves : some clarity of the enemy and the hero. What we are doing wrong and what we are doing right in our life becomes a true or false question. We become heroes. 

Today, I give myself permission to be the nuanced hero at home. The hero who has trouble getting out of bed sometimes because things are hard for her. The hero who then decides to do yoga instead of feel bad about it, and calls her friend to say hello. The hero who sucks at math. The hero who is constantly apologizing for things that aren’t her fault. The hero that isn’t sure how to live in this world, but keeps trying to be better even when she sets herself back.

I’ve got some news : the nuanced hero at home is the good guy and the bad guy all at once. Make peace with who that nuanced hero is RIGHT NOW, and end your suffering. End the idea that you have to have it all figured out. End the idea that you can’t handle the unstable life you have, or that peace is an impossibility. Because at the end of the day, the nuanced hero needs to be happy – and he’ll find that making himself or herself happy first, then sharing that with others. 

I wish all this for you, my heroes. 

Sat Nam,

When Venus Gives Career Advice

I’m sweating in a small room for 8 days straight. I have been calling C.E.O’s of tech companies on a telemarketing job, and the hours are making my brain melt.

Enter Venus.

Venus is a woman to whom I was assigned to check in with. Her very presence makes me nervous. Tall. Poised. Sterling Eyes. Wedding ring that would make Kim Kardashian jealous. Rumor has it she has worked in film. I’ve seen her drive a very expensive-looking BMW out of the parking lot. She is top-of-the-mountain engaging and doesn’t have to say a word.

As an artist, I have been taught to be vulnerable and real. That is where I live most of the time in my nervous universe – accepting the fact that I feel like a fraud and seeking truth within that falseness.

But then I meet Venus and I want to be just like her : UNCONQUERABLE.  A wall of fire and ice that says “Don’t Fuck With Me”. It is this that leads me to be timid and not try to fuck with her.

She’s walking down the hall. I don’t realize she is talking on the phone with a client, because she has been walking in the office. After I interrupt her, I go into my cubicle and continue my job.

She comes back in, and I apologize for interrupting her phone call…again.

She looks around and says…”Can I give you some really good career advice?”

She shuts the door.

My heart is in my mouth.

“Sure.”

“Never say you are sorry to anyone. Especially women! You have NOTHING to apologize for, so why are you apologizing? Do you think a MAN would apologize for what he did? Absolutely not. I was walking around, my phone in my ear- if HE didn’t know then HE doesn’t care. Don’t care so much, and never apologize.”

I know it sounds harsh, but she says this without sounding angry, resentful or like she is saying anything else but the truth.

I say thanks, appreciate the advice, here’s what I wanted to tell you. We go over the phone list and strategies for the afternoon call list. She leaves the room.

It takes 5 seconds, but I burst into tears. How many apologies have I made over several years for no reason at all? How many times have I been afraid to interrupt, offend or hurt?

I can pinpoint the exact point in my childhood when this hit me over the head : without any blame or resentment, I can seriously recall the moment when I was taught never to invite yourself over to anyone’s house. Make sure you ALWAYS have permission. ALWAYS.

But what happens to Venus inside us, the goddess of love who knows what she likes, what she wants and how she should get it. Who is unapologetic about the fact that she EXISTS, and CLAIMS her sacred space without attachment to the opinions of others?

The rest of the phone calls, I counted every apology said on the phone. 3. That means on average? At least 4-6 times a day I make myself feel like I shouldn’t take up space. What has that done to my subconscious desire and has that robbed me of any opportunities to grow?

This week, let Venus be your Goddess of the sacred space. I hope you own the space of your life, fill it with love and don’t apologize for what it looks like to others. I hope you take up so much space that you can be seen from heaven with your impact. I hope you use that space to change the world. I hope you never have to apologize ever again.

Sat Nam

time-management-woman

Stop me if you’ve heard this one

A Jew, A Muslim, A Christian, a Buddhist and an Atheist are all on Spring Break together. They are in a swimming pool, splashing each other and chicken fighting. All of a sudden GOD appears. He looks something like Jeff Bridges.

“Hold on, man”, he says. “Are you puttin’ out what you’re gettin’ in? Know what I’m saying?”

All of these guys turn and look at this old hippie, who in spite of his reputation of being God, is losing his audience.

“God, where have you been?” Asked the Jew.

“Yes” said the Christian, “Where’s Jesus?”

“Jesus and I are both on Spring Break.” said God. “My son doesn’t want to be seen with me at the pool, so he’s gone to Disneyland”

“Makes sense” says the Atheist, “Him and Mickey Mouse, just figments of our imagination”

“Leave him alone!” said the Buddhist, “Let him be as he is”

“God,” says the Muslim, “How did you get here?”

“Well,” says God, “First, there was the heavens and-”

“NoNoNo, not that, I mean…how did you get invited to this event? I have to like, keep reminding these guys to make me an admin on the facebook page and they keep ignoring me!”

“Shut up, dude!” Said the Christian, “He’s GOD. Obviously he’s always invited. But he’s everywhere anyway so it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure God gets really mad when people don’t invite him! I mean, he has feelings, right?” Said the Jew, “God, do you have feelings?”

“Well, I try not to take anything personally,” said God, in a way that would make you feel he took it personally.

“Do you want to come in?” said the Buddhist. “I made…Ok, bought some vegan corndogs from Whole Foods.”

“You told me you made those! They were my favorite!” Said the Muslim. “Are they even vegan?”

“Well, it says on the wrapper that it was made in a place that may…be a pig farm, but…”

“What???” said both the Jew and Muslim together.

And then they started splashing each other. Really hard splashes that guys will do in pools to show off. Only it was angrier than that. They dunked each other, pinned each other with fun noodles, and gave each other wedgies.

God was amused, but not pleased.

“I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!!”

All of a sudden, the party was over. The deep end parted and God walked on the dry cement at the bottom. He went to the very center of the pool and pulled the plug. Like a spiral in a bathtub, all the water drained out of the pool.

Everybody felt like a royal douchebag.

“I told you he wasn’t going to save any of you”. Said the Atheist. “If he is so forgiving, why is he doing this to us?”

“I see your point.” said the Christian.

“Don’t look at me!” said the Muslim.

The Buddhist was silent.

“Do you think I’M GOD???” Said God.

More silence.

“God is not a person, place, thing, idea, doctrine, scripture or anything that can speak to you in finite manners. God is you. But what keeps God alive is the water between you. The thing that flows and holds you up when you feel like sinking and sustains you in peace. I’m Jeff Fucking Bridges, and i’m going to go get drunk while I wait for Jesus to come back from Disneyland.”

And with that, God-or-Jeff-Bridges left.

And they all kind of stared at each other for awhile. Not knowing really what to say.

“I should have got his autograph” said the Jew.

“Dude, you really think that was Jeff Bridges?” said the Christian.

“He looks much shorter than he does in the movies”, said the Buddhist.

They thought about this for a minute.

“I don’t think that was Jeff Bridges.” said the Muslim.

The pool dried up and became a skate park the very next summer. It was carved up and tagged and teenagers would go there to have unprotected sex. The facebook group “Summer Pool Party” was deleted. Jeff Bridges never came back again.

Ishtar and Jesus go out for Coffee

(Jesus is sitting in a cafe, waiting on his date to arrive. Enter Ishtar, the Babylonian Goddess of love, war, fertility and sex, and even though it is indoors a beautiful wind caresses her hair. Slow motion walk to 80’s power ballads as she sits down)

Jesus : Hey

Ishtar : Hello. 

Jesus: Thanks for – I mean, I’m glad we could meet. Finally.

Ishtar: I know, I hear you’ve resurrected. That’s so cool.

Jesus: Yeah, it was kind of rough for a few days. Three days. In a cave. Alone. And then POW – here I am.

Ishtar: Do they have strong coffee here?

Jesus: Um, yeah…I guess so. Pretty strong. 

Ishtar: That’s good. I was at a blessing of this cult of sacred prostitution, you know – workers united and all that stuff. I was up all night long performing sacred sexual blessings.

Jesus: Yeah?

Ishtar : It’s always so awkward when people expect you to have sex. I mean, I am aware that my rite and destiny is to fill the fruit with seed, the spring with blossom, blah blah blah but you know what? A girl likes to be asked. 

Jesus : Sure.

Ishtar : That’s why my friend said I might like you, she says you aren’t like any of her other clients.

Jesus: Oh, I’m not one of her clients. 

Ishtar : Honey, I’m the goddess of sexuality. You don’t have to play puritan to get me to like you.

Jesus : No really, I never have…you know, sex, with any of those women. Really?

Ishtar : Principled?

Jesus: No, I just like to talk to them. 

Ishtar : Really? About what? 

Jesus: I’m a motivational speaker of sorts. 

Ishtar: For…who?

Jesus: Everyone. I want to teach peace. 

Ishtar: Oh…(looks at her phone) Do you play sports?

Jesus: No. 

Ishtar : Do you watch sports?

Jesus: Not really. I was never really good at them. I like to write. 

Ishtar: That’s what Mary said. 

Jesus: Oh, how’s she doing?

Ishtar: She got pregnant again. Had to give it up, again. Hazard.

Jesus: It’s her right, hope she is healing. Tell her I say hello when you see her.

Ishtar: I will, and thank you. Damn straight it’s her right! Well, at least you’re a feminist. 

Jesus: At least?

Ishtar : I’ll be honest. I’m not really into the “let’s talk about our feelings” types. I’m more into the “fuck your friends, kill your enemies, and meet me at the orgy in the land of fertile plenty” types.

Jesus: Sounds fun.

Ishtar: But maybe you can help me with something. I just had this crazy breakup, right? Tammuz, this guy I was really into? Got taken into the underworld and totally hooked up with his Abysinian girl. Which I’m OK with most of the time, but it’s like, he told me that we were exclusive and I believed him, you know. So anyway, I banished the Abysinian into the eternal realm of darkness and Tammuz was like, you know what? I’m staying down here. So now since he’s gone I haven’t been really feeling…you know…into it? Sex with other people has been fine and whatnot, I love it, it’s what I do, but you know…I’m just not feeling it? So the rivers are drying up, and I’m feeling really depressed. Like, lifetime original movie depressed. 

Jesus: Tell me more, my child. 

Ishtar: Ok…weird….anyway, here’s my question: how do I get him to ressurect from the underworld? Maybe you could talk to him! You’ve done it, you could talk him through it. 

Jesus: Wait, so…you’re not interested in me at all?

Ishtar: You seem like a nice guy. Which is a problem. People forget I’m the goddess of war as well. I need conflict.

Jesus: So, you like assholes?

Ishtar: Pretty much. 

Jesus: Huh…well, thanks for being honest, I guess. 

Ishtar: Well, can you help me with my problem?

Jesus: What makes me think I’ll help you?

Ishtar: You’re the son of God. You help the needy. And I have needs.

Jesus: Clearly.

Ishtar: And what’s that supposed to mean?

Jesus: I didn’t…you don’t understand I’m not saying…

Ishtar: For a motivational speaker you sure pick an unusual tactic : slut shaming. 

Jesus: Resurrection. You want me to convince your boyfriend to resurrect? 

Ishtar: Yes. 

Jesus: Well I can’t do that. 

Ishtar: Why not?

Jesus: To everything, turn turn, there is a season and a time for every purpose under heaven. Purpose UNDER heaven. If he wants to rise up, truly rise up and become everything he has ever wanted, he needs to get under the banner of his heavenly self. 

Ishtar: Listen, Buddha dissapeared and came back. Guru Ram Dass dissapeared into the river and reappeared to sing the song of formlessness. Why can’t you get my boyfriend to like me again?

Jesus : Sometimes it’s the hardest thing in the world to watch our loved ones dissapear into the seasons of themselves. We may be in eternal spring in our hearts, but they want to stay dark. We can choose to ressurect ourselves every day that we live in compassion, or we can choose to live in darkness. But that’s our choice. Ressurection wasn’t mine, nessacarily. I was supposed to be a symbol of something people do every day. I can’t rescue your boyfriend because he isn’t in a place where he wants to be reborn. 

Ishtar: What, into your Dad’s idea of who he should be?

Jesus: Here’s a secret. My Dad wants nothing else but for people to be happy. To live as they are : perfectly imperfect. But humans keep finding ways to mess that up. I don’t know what your boyfriend is going through…it must be terrible to lose someone like you in his life. Some people are reborn into my heart because they feel great when they are there. But it really doesn’t matter if they choose to go through me or someone else : they’ve got to save themselves from the terrible place inside that brings fear. However way they do it, they have to find a way to be reborn every day or the pain becomes insurmountable. 

Ishtar: Wow. 

Jesus: But that’s not my job. I write. I inspire. I embrace. And that’s what I do best. But I’m not captain save-a-ho. I can’t go rescue your boyfriend. He’s got to take the steps back towards you, if he wants to.

Ishtar: Well, thanks. I appreciate your honesty. 

Jesus: You’re welcome. 

Ishtar: I think we should be friends, though.

Jesus: That’s OK. I’m not really into, you know, man eater types? No offense. 

Ishtar: None taken. 

Jesus: I also really like black women. 

Ishtar: Me too. 

(Unable to resurrect the conversation, they sit in silence)

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Ways to Take Up Space

1. Say what you feel the moment you feel it. Tell the grocer he made a mistake in a very kind way. Tell your friend they are making you feel pressured, marginalized or hurt. Tell your lover that you love them and appreciate everything they do for you. Tell your parents thank you. 

2. If that makes you uncomfortable, write those feelings down and then say them later to the person. It still counts.

3. Sing loudly. In the car, in the shower, on stage, recorded or into your hairbrush. But sing with your whole body.

4. Hog the covers. If there is someone next to you at the time you attempt this, play-fight them for it. Roll around as much as possible while doing this. Wedgies are fair game. You know you are doing it right when the covers leave the bed and there are no winners. If you are single, make a fort just for you in the living room and invite in friends – or enjoy the solitude. 

5. Do some creative vandalism. Something impermanent that changes the landscape of how your space is defined. Arrange a few post-it’s so they make a smiley face on your wall. Put a ribbon on a statue. Make the outline of a heart in rocks on someone’s door. Attach a kite to the back of a garbage truck.

6. Think like an animal. Growl. Run. Chase. Fetch. Play. Find a field where you can run around and bring out your inner wolverine. Watch people be curious, and then not give a crap. Just don’t leave…traces. 🙂 

7. Reserve It – Is there a place in the park you like to go, a library, a dance studio, a street you like to run? Give yourself space to be in those spaces and give yourself time to be happy in them. For me, that is the bathtub. Mine, mine mine. 

8. Be selfish – Take care of buisiness, then do what you want. You have the right to be where you are and have that be exactly where you want to be. You get there by expressing the need from your true self, and then letting that true self take action. Take what you need, because then you acknowledge the plenty you have. 

9. Do something completely out of character – Ask someone out. Take a class you always wanted to. Travel. Eat something you are curious about. Make space for yourself to explore something new, and you will feel new space inside of you grow. 

10. Love – Love makes you big. Love makes you so big that all the issues you have to deal with become small. Love yourself so much that nothing will disturb your peace of mind, that you feel big in a land where you are taught to play small. Love your limits and go through them. Love everyone around you so the size of your love can carry you. 

May you take all the space you need, and give all the space away. May you vibrate time and space so that all may serve you.

Sat Nam

Emotional Resonance and Relationships

Every once in awhile, if you are very lucky or very unfortunate, something resonates at such a deep level with you that your vibration changes. 

Now I’m not talking about romantic love, or finding that perfect person with the use of vibration or mantra…that is an element of spiritual practice I feel has been exploited lately – the use of using your higher consciousness because you want a boyfriend. I see it all the time, take this webinar, bring the miracle man of your dreams towards you, relationships are the highest yoga.

I’m not trying to seem undermining of any of these pursuits, finding a partner is important to those who have authenticity in their lives through partnership. But what seems to be missing is what people are REALLY searching for : someone who vibrates on the same emotional resonance. 

It doesn’t matter if that is a romantic relationship, family relationship, friend, work associate, teacher, or any other role that is constructed by humans. We aren’t responsible for those with emotional resonance that come into our lives, nor are we expected to define it? 

Did Harper Lee and Truman Capote feel the need to define their friendship? Do Bill and Hillary choose their sexual relationship over their empire, and if they didn’t how less powerful would they be together? Did Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan’s teacher-student relationship end just because Helen learned to READ?

If you are lucky in this life, you might find a romantic partner or several. If you are prosperous on top of fortune itself you find love that doesn’t expect anything in return. If you have won the lottery, you find someone whose very heart beats with yours and shares your every victory and defeat.

If this person or these people have an emotional resonance that echoes at the very core of your true identity? Don’t settle for a title. Don’t settle for having it be anything but what it is. The more you try to own it the more it will elude you. Let it land on your shoulder exactly as it is and don’t feel scared if it leaves. If you have felt it from the source of the soul, it will never leave you.

May you find the emotional resonance within yourself so that your frequencies heal. May you call upon the person or tribe that shakes you up, makes you happy and does not lie. May you clear the pathway towards your heart so that you call upon the highest emotional frequencies. May you feel guided, loved and protected by those who share your light. May your frequency be a universal sound of love. 

Sat Nam

29

I turned 29 today. Technically? One of those “not a big deal before the big deal birthdays” emotionally? Crucial considering there have been multiple milestones crossed. 

I made a list of things I wanted to do today, to really set myself up for the year –

1. Something Giving – Donated 10 dollars to a food bank because I have recently become vegan and wanted to give others a nourishing plate. Discovering food as an ally has been empowering for me ever since I have given up the cow in the new year. Giving that back meant something to me. I heard a story about Yogi Bhajan, that he used to make people bring cookies on their birthday. Even if it was a new student, who raised their hand in class saying “It’s my birthday” He would tell that person to bring cookies for the class, and they all would wait. He thought it was so crucial that you started your year off gifting that he was willing to wait for you to come around.

2. Something Creative – This is my true self. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been trying to tell silly stories and make people laugh. I have fallen in with groups of people who are making things – whether that is a community, a book, a piece of art, a kid, a costume for comic-con, a song? Everything that you create and share makes you radiant and I wanted to explore that radiance within myself. I started work on a screenplay that has been stuck in my head and causing anxiety because I don’t have the words for it yet. Here we go.

3. Something with Yoga – My BOTTOM line!! Yoga has become like my religion – when times are hard I lean harder on my practice and find the strength to get through the pain. I went to a class tonight that was later than the others, but I knew was a good fit for me. I am a Kundalini Yogi but have been taking more posture based classes to learn the correct alignment in other forms. I get there, and sure enough I’m proud of my decision.

First, the teacher was older than myself. I love older yoga teachers because they have recognized the power inside them at any age goes beyond physical posture but still challenge your entire self on the mat. Gurmukh, the master teacher who taught me Kundalini Yoga? Was making me sweat in her 70’s and still makes people sweat today.

Second, the teacher reminded me what I knew was important while teaching me new things : when you take a yoga class it is never about how you bend or what you are physically capable of. It is how you handle yourself in the world when you leave class that makes you a yogi, how you interact with your friends, community, and those who need you that is your yoga. She showed me a posture that I needed to align my neck during shoulder stand, and she made me think about how I want to share intention and blessing with others. 

Third, the teacher gave me a hug at the end of class when I told her it was my birthday. Hugs are always awesome. 

4. Something involving a Friend – I spoke to a very dear friend of mine who has gone out of her way to make my day special, and shared some nice love on the phone. Then I did what I do every year : write 3 pages in my Google Drive entitled “29” and write every bit of magical thinking inside of me.That was when another friend appeared. She hadn’t been described to me in that way since I had been in therapy, but this friend became truth as soon as I wrote her. Our duality inside us is such that we have the critic and the friend – the critic saves us from making bad choices but can cut us off if we let him take over. The friend is constantly there for others but sometimes can forget to be there for himself. The friend is expansion, compassion. This year, I did something with the friend inside me : Treated her like she was a precious jewel. That God and me, me and God are one together. Friends, forever. 

May all of your birthdays be creative, prosperous, kind, generous, filled with divinity, light and love. May you have many birthdays that are better than the last, and may you be happier with each coming milestone. May you bring life and adventure as you take advantage of the gift of being human. May your light shine through your years as you do : with every intention towards truth and your inner destiny. May you be of spirit, always. 

Sat Nam