The Good Lonely

I’m entering a phase in my life I’m choosing to call : the good lonely. Its a big, amazing world out there and I want to experience every dimension of it. Some parts of that dimension require solitary confinement.

There are some days when I stare at the roof of the ceiling in my room and wish to be miles away from where I am. The only thing pulling me in any direction is towards a life of adventure, prosperity, happiness and creative sharing. 

Most days though, I feel alone. And that’s OK, it just requires a balance of surrounding myself with love whenever that feeling enters my soul.

When you are 29, your personal crisis’ stop being cute and they start feeling like a spiritual deadline. Your friends are partnering off and making families, everyone expects you to have a career path planned, and all success is measured in what kind of phone you have.

Which is why you need the good lonely at this time in your life. It’s a time to reject all that and really allow yourself to occupy the space of your life. No one else will do it for you.

I’m grateful for this time, frightening as it is. It’s allowed me to make some rules for myself that have made me feel stronger, lighter, more myself.

1. Treat yourself like royalty. It’s the only way to move through the hard parts in life is to make sure you are well cared for by the power of your soul.

2. Don’t be afraid of taking up space. As a woman, I really feel like I’ve been beat down over my lifetime with reasons to apologize. I refuse to, anymore.

3. Failure is encouraged. Graceful and teaching moments of failure are the best thing you can ask for at this point, because each one leads you to more information.

4. If you don’t agree, don’t participate. A job, a housing situation, a relationship, a lifestyle. Don’t make choices based on what’s expected of you.

5. Stay strong and flexible. Your vulnerability mixed with your strength makes you compelling, just as you are. Don’t change it because you feel like you have nothing to offer.

6. Surround with people who make you feel loved and take you out of yourself. It makes all the difference in the world.

7. Separate feelings from facts. Meditation helps this. So does time. So does perspective.

8. Build yourself up so you can build others up. It will make you strong, sensitive, and compelling.

9. The only relationship you ever really need is with your higher self. Whatever that is, keep searching for it and never give up.

10. Realize that you are a living system that has karmic lineage. You alone are radiant, powerful and beautiful. Be the living embodiment of dharma and you will never feel alone again.

I wish you all a very good lonely.

Sat Nam

Walk in radiance and you will never feel alone.

Walk in radiance and you will never feel alone.

The List of Things We’ve Done

I went to a memorial yesterday. When you step into a church that was built in the 1960’s, the first thing that hits you is the smell. A dusty paper smell that invades your nostrils and manifests silence as you make your way into a solitary pew in the third row. People are crying, sharing stories and then there is the list. 

Mrs. Jane So and So was born on So and So a date and went to Junior United School. She enjoyed horseback riding, and driving her car way too fast down the road. She had a puppy named mittens and every summer would go fishing at Wintercrest Lake. She worked at such and such a place so she could provide for her two lovely children. 

It’s a list of the things we’ve done. We all will have them at the end of this ride. And that scares me. The places I’ve worked are many. The people I’ve known are many. But what I have to give and what I have to share? How often does that list feel like I’ve come up short? 

Everything that I have done is nothing compared to how I want to help, and there I feel that I’m short on what really matters. Every creative thought of a project I have started or not finished, every community opportunity I haven’t taken, every dinner I haven’t shared with someone I love.

They then opened up the conversation to the crowd. Anyone welcome to share a memory, a story, a happy thought. This is where things grew more dimensions. There was talk of a whole person with dimensions – someone who was always there for her neighbors, someone who loved her family very much, and someone who gave all she was to make sure that the kids in her neighborhood had fun and felt safe. 

People forget the list of things you’ve done. They never forget the way you made them feel. All the days of my life I hope to make everyone around me feel loved, respected and cherished. I hope to skip the list and go straight to the generosities, the details, the times when it came down to how unity mattered over difference of opinion. I hope that we have the chance to make the things we’ve done matter less than the people we’ve healed. I hope that everyone has the chance to let go of what they were expected to do before life got in the way, and reconnect with those who matter most and those who need most urgently. 

Sat Nam

The NASA Article – 20 Things to Do When the World Ends

I used to act in theatre shows. Usually, by the time the show ended was when I figured out how to play the part. Which is why, when I read this today I started to think about the various ways I figure things out right before they are over.

Yogi Bhajan, the great teacher of Kundalini Yoga, taught us that Akal means deathless. You go to a place where death cannot touch you, and death becomes a part of you. Recently, I’ve been trying to go to this deathless place because when I don’t meditate I go to this place of paranoia. The world is in this state of paranoia because of climate change, and as a result we are feeling the pressure.

But what if that deathless place was actually a power position? One of my friends who knew Yogi Bhajan claims that in the months before his death he had an incredible magnetism, more than his usual amount. His radiance shown on the path of his physical decline as he transitioned to the other world.

What if the declining state of our planet could actually move some of us to realization of how we want to live peacefully? Things we want to do when we feel that planetary pressure?

In order to ease my paranoia, I want to make a list of 20 things I want to do when the world ends.

1. Everything I am doing right now. I hope I am so present with my path that every action I am taking are things aligned with my inner destiny.
2. Hold hands with Michael Fassbender on the beach as we watch the sun grow warm.
3. Laugh with someone so hard that my sides start to burst, and I forget for a moment that everything is over.
4. Find something beautiful and appreciate it.
5. Find family. The ones that want to share in the fortunate present and not panic about the immediate future.
6. I may stray from veganism for a moment so I can enjoy my Dad’s steak recipe for the last time. Buffalo Wings and Goat Cheese, you aren’t safe either if you are still around.
7. Go to work if it’s somewhere I love being. Find work helping someone else if that isn’t the case.
8. Dance. Feverishly.
9. Go somewhere I’ve never been before. If people have rioted their way into the White House? I’m going to wear Michelle Obama’s inauguration dress to my quickie wedding with Michael Fassbender.
10. Go somewhere I have been before, but find a new way to experience that place. Turn the parking lot of Wal Mart into a canvas. Turn an abandoned auto shop into a place for crossfit trainers to throw car parts around in a Strongest Person in the Apocolypse competition.
11. Be naked. A lot.
12. Sing. All my favorite songs and all my favorite sounds. Rosemary Clooney, Amos Lee, Nina Simone, Rilo Kiley.
13. Kiss a stranger on the mouth and tell them they are perfect. Then walk away.
14. Kiss a robot on the mouth and tell them they are perfect. Then walk away. Unless the robots have taken over, then feverishly seduce robot in order to secure food.
15. If there are still movies around, re-watch Drop Dead Gorgeous, like, a million times.
16. Forgive myself for not living up to my full potential. Then do something to correct that.
17. Chant and do yoga in the morning hours and then go outside and feel the soil in my hands.
18. Read a story to someone. If I can’t find a book, then make one up.
19. Tell everyone I’ve ever cared about that the love they have given me means more than the end of the earth.
20. Never spend another minute on Facebook.

May you bring peace and healing to your planet.

Top 10 List of Lists I Intend to Make : (since no one reads articles anymore)

1. Top Ten Reasons Why Gluten-free Items Will Kill Us.

2. Top Twenty Reasons Why The Title of This Article Makes Me Sound Old

3. Five Cats Who Are Complete Assholes for No Reason

4. Ways to Save Money Buying Cashews in Bulk

5. Things I’m Going to Do Once I’m C-List Famous : The Fab Felonies

6. 20 Burlesque Moves that Will Get You Arrested Anywhere But In Florida

7. Ways to Get Him HOT!! The Winter Coat Edition

8. 10 Classic British Microwave Dinners for your Downton Abbey Marathon-Athon

9. A Top 20 Picture Slideshow of Abandoned Circuit Cities.

10. The Hedonistic Voyage : 30 Exotic Places Where it’s OK to Walk Around Semi-Nude