The NASA Article – 20 Things to Do When the World Ends

I used to act in theatre shows. Usually, by the time the show ended was when I figured out how to play the part. Which is why, when I read this today I started to think about the various ways I figure things out right before they are over.

Yogi Bhajan, the great teacher of Kundalini Yoga, taught us that Akal means deathless. You go to a place where death cannot touch you, and death becomes a part of you. Recently, I’ve been trying to go to this deathless place because when I don’t meditate I go to this place of paranoia. The world is in this state of paranoia because of climate change, and as a result we are feeling the pressure.

But what if that deathless place was actually a power position? One of my friends who knew Yogi Bhajan claims that in the months before his death he had an incredible magnetism, more than his usual amount. His radiance shown on the path of his physical decline as he transitioned to the other world.

What if the declining state of our planet could actually move some of us to realization of how we want to live peacefully? Things we want to do when we feel that planetary pressure?

In order to ease my paranoia, I want to make a list of 20 things I want to do when the world ends.

1. Everything I am doing right now. I hope I am so present with my path that every action I am taking are things aligned with my inner destiny.
2. Hold hands with Michael Fassbender on the beach as we watch the sun grow warm.
3. Laugh with someone so hard that my sides start to burst, and I forget for a moment that everything is over.
4. Find something beautiful and appreciate it.
5. Find family. The ones that want to share in the fortunate present and not panic about the immediate future.
6. I may stray from veganism for a moment so I can enjoy my Dad’s steak recipe for the last time. Buffalo Wings and Goat Cheese, you aren’t safe either if you are still around.
7. Go to work if it’s somewhere I love being. Find work helping someone else if that isn’t the case.
8. Dance. Feverishly.
9. Go somewhere I’ve never been before. If people have rioted their way into the White House? I’m going to wear Michelle Obama’s inauguration dress to my quickie wedding with Michael Fassbender.
10. Go somewhere I have been before, but find a new way to experience that place. Turn the parking lot of Wal Mart into a canvas. Turn an abandoned auto shop into a place for crossfit trainers to throw car parts around in a Strongest Person in the Apocolypse competition.
11. Be naked. A lot.
12. Sing. All my favorite songs and all my favorite sounds. Rosemary Clooney, Amos Lee, Nina Simone, Rilo Kiley.
13. Kiss a stranger on the mouth and tell them they are perfect. Then walk away.
14. Kiss a robot on the mouth and tell them they are perfect. Then walk away. Unless the robots have taken over, then feverishly seduce robot in order to secure food.
15. If there are still movies around, re-watch Drop Dead Gorgeous, like, a million times.
16. Forgive myself for not living up to my full potential. Then do something to correct that.
17. Chant and do yoga in the morning hours and then go outside and feel the soil in my hands.
18. Read a story to someone. If I can’t find a book, then make one up.
19. Tell everyone I’ve ever cared about that the love they have given me means more than the end of the earth.
20. Never spend another minute on Facebook.

May you bring peace and healing to your planet.

A Big Announcement and A Big Thank You



Ok, so it’s not that…Sadly. 

I’m moving to the San Francisco Bay Area. I have 1,000 in my bank account, some dreams and ideas, and a yoga mat to work out the details of those on. I’m seeking a spiritual and creative community, and some place to call my own version of home. 

Those of you who I have flaked out on in the past month? I have to say I’m sorry. I should make time for those who have sat with me and stood for me and I couldn’t get to you all. Hopefully this makes a difference. 

When I first came back from New York City, I was someone pretty burned by her career choice. I’m making similar risks so some of those are equally as scary. I feel ready now, but at the same time it took me quite some time to get there. A few catalyst events have moved me to make fast changes, but I can wait for miracles as they are seeking me out as well. 

There is somewhat of a castrated feeling when you come back to the world you had such hopes of bringing success stories towards. But that is ego, and not spirit. Needless to say, when I returned home 2.5 years ago my ego was deflated and out of touch with any sense of meaning. 

Then something amazing happened. Life showed up. You showed up. One of the lessons I learned back at home is that miracles often occur in spite of how worthy you feel of them. Best just to accept them and be grateful for the chance to keep pounding out the details of life’s grey areas. 

I made friends. People who enjoyed having me and my big mouth around. People who didn’t care that I lived with my parents or worked in a department store. People who held my hand at tea when I broke down in front of them and let me spend the night on their couches. People who laughed with me, and wanted me to come on adventures to magical faraway lands like : Stockton, Sacramento. Whenever I walk into Kohl’s, Alicias Sugar Shack or Aria Bakery, I will have people I would like to see, and people who like to see me. That makes me so happy.  

I fell in love. Deeply, passionately, and for someone who didn’t see me as broken or less-than feminine divine. I found someone who made me feel safe and beautiful, and although that ended I can’t imagine how my years here would have gone without him. I had lived in New York City, land of thousands of singles and soul-seekers, and then in the middle of nowhere I find someone who had more soul and passion and dignity than someone of a thriving philisophical metropolis. Although our relationship ended, I consider it a success in how he and I changed and grew. I will love what he did for me and who he is: the person who made love real for me when I least expected it. 

I did things I never thought I would do. Make a movie. Learn to Cook. Swim across a lake. Learn to Salsa/Bachata and get so good at it I can hold my own at clubs. Master 120 day Sadhana. Find myself at a yoga festival. See my favorite band. Seek out projects with passionate people. Become an unexpected mentor and friend. Be chased by carneys. Get a certificate in web development. 

I’m seeking happiness. Adventure, joy, connection and the answers to questions I may not have or know. My own version of home. A basic prosperity. Love. The way to the present. To really value and love my soul so much that all blessed karmic paths are attracted to it’s plane. To serve my destiny. To accept failure and move on. To become more real, and more myself every day. To be. To live. To enjoy. 

And I have you all to thank for that. Thank you for valuing me when I didn’t value myself. Thank you for giving me a hand and a shoulder. Thank you for the support. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the love. Thank you for listening. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for the passion you have brought to my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

The River and Elements of Choice

We drink every day out of the cup of our own consciousness, but never aware of the other side of it. Many times we wish our identities could be solid, our emotions identifiable in origin and our roles cemented. At least then we could scale our lives down to margins and degrees.

Could you imagine? I am 80% happy today for my role as daughter, barista, and yogi has been filled. Now that other 20 percent, if filled by my role as girlfriend, nuclear physicist, and professional break dancer? I would be set for LIFE!! Also? I want to dye my hair/get a tattoo/go by my middle name so that everyone will INSTANTLY know I’m different without anything happening. Michael Fassbender will also come into my work, get coffee, fall madly in love with me and we will dance at our wedding to Neil Young’s “Harvest Moon”.

You see how crazy that sounds? We are creating holes in our own life for things we aren’t even sure we want. Each identity is crazier than the last because we can’t wrap our head around infinity.  How can we filter happiness when we are constantly searching for things that make us unhappy? How do we make choices about who we are when the model changes constantly? How do we react to change and not get swept into a false identity because of it? How do we not wake up in shock wondering “Is this REALLY my life?” and feel drowned by that discovery?

Life flows much like a river. At our best, we move at a natural course and are filled with life. But imagine if the waters of that river were to encounter a huge island at the center of the river’s path. An unexpected division, a natural obstacle to life’s flow. Half the water would flow around the island one way, the other half would flow on the opposite side. One way has the exact same volume of water as the other, the only difference is the direction.

I’ve reached an age where things are neither good or bad anymore. My life simply merges and diverges depending on the obstacle presented. Whether I go on one side or the other, I’m still water. I’m still mutable and transformable and a product of my environment.

Depressing, right? But think of it this way:

The water, when flowing on it’s natural course, can’t see the new pathways being created during the merging of the elements. It can only feel the motion and respond by joining with the universal organic flow of everything around it. 

Our job is to not see the monumental island in our way. Our job is to find the path of least resistance and go there. Over time, the island becomes a bar of sand or disappears completely for the water is made strong by its consistency. I’m not the best at limiting my fantasies, nor being swept away by illusion. But with practice, and with love and time? I could follow the flow of my life exactly as it is and get exactly what I need. The organic path of the soul, lived by its present. Delicious.

May your time, talent and discipline prove to be your best friend. May you not see the giant island but feel the grains of sand flowing between your feet, and trust they are wearing what isn’t needed. May you choose either/or, but be blessed with the knowledge that there are no bad choices, but simply choices to be reckoned with. May all of your problems be the result of a life that you want, a life of least resistance. May your destiny serve you in ways you never knew, and may you be blessed because of it.

Sat Nam.