When Looking for Signs Goes Wrong – The Bunny Story

I’m trying to be a grounded spiritualist, but I’m constantly surrounded by puzzling signs. Some of them are wonderful, some of them are terrible. Here is an example of when looking for signs goes wrong, for those of us who are still waiting for that sign of destiny from the universe.

Last month I applied for a job that I truly wanted. The ache in my heart for everything this job offered : benefits, freedom, money, a mission and good healthy food on discount? My interview was on a day when the new moon was in Aries, my sun sign. For those of you unfamiliar with astrology, some of the signs in the new moon may auspiciously be supporting our causes on this planet – especially when the sign is similar to our own. The sun was shining, the interview went extremely well, even the lady at the jewelry shop next door told me the job was mine, and offered me a sublease in the area. “For WHEN you get it dear, WHEN you get it!”the kind old lady smiled at me and said.

This HAS to be a sign, I said to myself.

I failed to notice it was April Fool’s day. Got a call in the evening that they had offered the position to someone internally, but would call me at the end of the month with another job opening. Sign? Maybe not.

Fast forward to end of the month. A day astrologically auspicious to those at a crossroads. Offering balance, the grand cardinal cross was a time that signified the end of self-pity, and the beginning of an awakening into fullness.

Then I saw the bunny.

Outside the office window where I was working? The most adorable baby bunny in the world was munching on a green leaf and staring at me. I stared back at him.

bunny

“Everything is going to be as fine as I am adorable. Tee hee!!”

He was the cutest thing I had ever seen. We communicated. He stared at me and I stared at him and I felt so happy inside. This is a sign of fertility, of things moving, of freedom, of play. I felt so ready to accept what was mine : my dream of supporting myself and moving on into the next phase of my life was being supported by ADORABLE MOTHER NATURE!!

This HAS to be a sign, I said to myself.

I got the call. There was a job available, but for much less hours and much less pay than the previous job. I told the hiring manager that I had to think about it.

I felt sad. I had been waiting on baited breath for this destiny sign to make itself known to me. For the right thing to happen to me at the right time. It sucked. For about two minutes, I let the tears flow in the parking lot. Then I felt relief.

“Now I don’t have to wait on them anymore”…I thought. “Now I can have some freedom in decisions that were hindered by hope and looking everywhere but now.”

It’s amazing how good it feels when you don’t have to rely on the outside anymore to bring you everything you ever wanted. When you can check yourself with who you are rather than what you need. When you can let go of the bunny and really focus on what’s right in front of you. Everything you need you already have. 

I’m not saying it doesn’t suck when you hope for something and then it doesn’t turn out. I’m not saying that the joy in finding isn’t something worth searching for. But I hope in the next week that you find that all the strength, love and prosperity you have ever wanted is not what the bunny has. It’s what you have.

I hope that every missed opportunity is a direction for you. I hope every failure is leading you towards success on a ladder you want to climb. I hope prosperity follows you as you follow your heart. I hope you let love win when you are looking, and you let love be when you know who you are. I hope you make your life a two way mirror of love : looking up and looking in front of you in the glorious dance of the present. 

Sat Nam.

“the universe is counting on our belief
that faith is more powerful than fear
and in that the shifting moment
we’ll all remember why we’re here”
-from “Awaken”at MysticMamma.com

Knots

Patchy foggy pieces of information in bulk are far worse than small amounts of clarity. When you look at a big tangle of knots, you see parts of the rope that once were straight. You can see their entry and exit into the frayed tangle of mess – have some idea of where they are going and what parts of the whole they represent. You see the pattern of their relationship with the entire messy tangle, maybe you might even be able to see which parts they are connected to.

I’ve come to a point in my climb up career mountain that gets pieces of information at a time. One job offer fails, the other one calls. I have a great interview and then a terrible one. I can tell the instant I’m doing well and when I’m faking it for the sake of a paycheck. Each one of these experiences are tiny knots to untie.

For example. I’m sitting in a warehouse in San Carlos with two commercial directors. I’m enjoying myself. I’m talking about past experiences and future offers of help. They are engaged, and open to potentially take what I am offering on the table. This, like a few other production leads, will go nowhere. Both parties have not received enough information, because they are each untangling knots of their own.

I don’t know it yet, but I need a big wheel job to pay for my base expenses before I can even THINK of taking on this project. They don’t know it yet, but they can’t really present me a valuable offer without looking at their budget first and knowing exactly what kind of person they need. We both are learning things, and we part knowing that we aren’t right for each other. Sadly, this is the best version of a date I’ve had in months.

And so it goes. This applies to personal knots as well. I only know enough about the next relationship, the next adventure, and the next part of my life I want to experience based on what I untangle.

Then there are those huge, messy, lifelong knots – the ones the mind keeps going over. My emotional attachment to unavailable men, the low feelings of self-worth and coming from a place of lack, performance anxiety, financial instability, emotional eating, and the conscious choice of what I’m thinking is true about myself versus what actually is – conformity to norm versus my truth.

When your mind is constantly focusing on the unmanagable task – taking the smallest part of a messy rope and saying “This is what I’m learning right now. When I learn what part of the whole this is connected to, then I can solve the bigger problem.”

May your knots in the coming weeks be broken down into small tasks. May the information be clear. May you have the courage to follow your true intuition, and trust that the knot was once strong rope. May you have the patience to let time manage the unmanagable knots. May you be fearless in your pursuit of your soul’s mystery. May you unravel your destiny one piece of rope at a time.

Sat Nam

knots

O time! thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me to untie!
– Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, Viola 2.2.40

The Envelope – Becoming Whole Information

Imagine someone gave you an envelope filled with your destiny information : everything you were meant to accomplish on this planet – Be a parent. Go to Harvard. Become a raging asshole and inspire people to NOT be like you. Make macaroni art. Travel the jungle via pogo stick and blog about it. Discover a new kind of Kale.

Would you open it? Would you follow those instructions, even if you didn’t like them? Would you not want to know at all?

To be honest, I would probably open it. I’m interminably curious. But then if it was something I hated that I would have to do? I’m not sure how good I would be at attempting. Doesn’t it feel like sometimes we land on that thing we hate anyway, but had to discover that we liked it before? The teacher we never said we would become, the kids we never thought we wanted, the corporate sell out that we hate the message but love the money of. 

In the Piscean age, the time before the Aquarian age we are living in, people handed us the envelope. The letter of the law meant more than the spirit. Women were property. Sin was absolute. God belonged to those who could pay for him. Marriage was between a man and a woman. These were all decisions made from the letter of one absolute truth : we were here to pay our dues and then live on in another life. Suffering, inevitable. We had little information so we trusted what we knew of the small world of letters.

Now, we are living in an age where we have much more information then we could ever get our hands on. Every day we are handed a different envelope, tweet, text, viral video that describes a different destiny. A different way of thinking, expansion. We can travel across the globe in a second via Google maps, see the lives of celebrities on Instagram, and any question we might need the answer to we have it in minutes.

How do we filter through society’s spam folder and open the letter of our destiny? Once we open it, how do we use it to become whole information about the state of our soul’s journey?

There are many ways to do this, and each way is different depending on the person. For me, it’s Kundalini Yoga and meditation. For others, it may be music. It may be running, cooking, dancing, singing…whatever brings the soul joy. But the difference between whole information and retweeted cultural nonsense in our soul’s journey? How we use our body as an informational tool.

In the last week, since moving to a new town and searching for a job? My body has been immensely important in processing whole information. Yes, I had an excellent interview, but am I sensing with my soul that this is the right choice. Am I sweaty during the interview because I know this isn’t a good fit? Am I feeling in my core that this is what will support my life’s path? Do I feel the presence of my interviewer, are they really processing what I am saying? Am I understanding their needs?

When I leave that interview, I have more information than when I left. WHOLE information. I know within 15 seconds of leaving that interview if that will work, won’t work, or maybe needs more time to work for me. No longer am I just trusting my brain, but my whole body with information. The envelope is becoming less of a letter and more of a spirit. I’m opening pages of a book I never knew before. 

Faith, Trust and Intuition is a whole body experience. Use your head, but connect to the heart. In the end, that is where the most information is stored.

May you trust the sensory information you get from the present. May your soul be tied to every decision you make, whether consciously or unconsciously. May you enjoy every minute of navigating whole information because you trust the life you love. May you be consistent in your determination to be a whole working system. May that system work for you, so your destiny may land happily on your shoulder. May you live with love. May you be happy, healthy and whole. 

Sat Nam